I wanted to break my journal confidentiality rule and share a poem - sorry journal!
I recently had a learning difficulty screening at Middlesex University. The test confirmed that I am dyslexic and have developed coping mechanisms naturally. Being dyslexic is all I have known so the diagnosis doesn't change anything, but it helps me understand the way I think and aids me to know what I have to do to put my ideas out there in the world. One of my screening tests were to think about how I write, I noticed that I seem to have thoughts and then have to translate them into a form that the reader will understand. There seems to be a natural coping process I have developed that can transfer my thoughts to words on a page. I thought it would be interesting, to write a poem without this translation. Write the way I think...
Slow read. Stop read.
Slow write. Caps write.
Breath tight. Heart tight.
Words move. Numbers move.
Mind stop. Eyes stop.
Red face. Hot face.
Memory fail. Speech fail.
Not stupid. Dyslexic stupid.
(Ahmet, A. 2012. Journal)
I take my hat off to you Ahmet. Firstly for your bravery in acknowledging you may have dyslexia and going for the test and secondly, for sharing this with us all. May I say that from the way you articulate and write your ideas and thoughts down, I had absolutely no idea that you were dyslexic. I hope this really helps you to move forward in your studies and in your professional practice. I admire the way that you have handled the journey so far. Well done you.
ReplyDeletex
Thanks Jo, I was unsure about mentioning the screening altogether. But decided it would be a big part of my learning journey and there for I found I had to blog about it. It was just something I always put to the back of my mind and ignored, but the time came where i had to build an awareness of it. Thank you for your words of support.
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Cool. I totally think that being dyslexic is just recognising you don't think or communicate in words and so you have to find ways to translate your life into words. I don't want to be cured of being dyslexic or think like a non-dyslexic even though it is really painful when people can't understand you. I think we should be like people in the Deaf community Deaf with a capital D (but with Dyslexics we should have any capital letter we want to start the word off with of course!!!)
ReplyDeleteHere's a poem for you:
Reading
Words slip heavy on my eyelids
And page dances, black on white.
Reading bites my thoughts
And throws me into a corner
Adesola
This poem is beautiful, thank you. Being Dyslexic is all I've know and finding ways to translate my ideas to the world has formed part of who I am today. For that, I thank it.
ReplyDeleteLike all the comments. Finding out about ourselves seems like the easiest thing in the world but the intensity required is immense. I would really like to continue becoming more re-engaged with creatives because it is like coming home in terms of the thinking.
ReplyDeleteHi Ahmet. This is my first time logging on to your blog (sorry!) but definitely not the last! There is a lot to read through....you've been busy! And I've not got enough time now to do it justice....but I'd just like to say this. As someone who has known you for many years and knows how quickly your brain works and how fast words can fall out of mouth (quite often in a confusing way for others) your writing is crystal clear. Your ideas and perception of your own thoughts seem the polar opposite of how I would assume a dyslexic to be able to express themselves. Which must mean that as you have noted....you have developed such a coping mechanism that dyslexia seems not to hinder you at all. I know this is not the case....but congratulations on managing to do such terrific work in spite of it. Very proud friend. xx
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