As the summer term weeks role on I begin to have conversations about next term with my community of practice. What's amazing about the first thing I notice is the fact that I get offered projects the next term very easily now from my current teaching posts and I am definitely 'in the loop'. This is something that happens over time and gaining loyalty as a freelance teacher can be hard. I find myself automatically planning what show I will direct next and how I will improve my classes.
However, I realise I'm not going to be there. In september I go to Goldsmith's University as a full time student. This reality hadn't sunk in before as much as it is now. As I begin to think about the conversations that I will eventually have to have, concerning the fact that I will have to move on from all my current teaching positions, is both sad and scary. Sad because as a passionate practitioner, one gets attached to building an artistic dream that infuses creativity to young performers. Also, scary as for the first time since the age of twenty years old, I will return to being a full time student.
I realise that this change is about investment into my practice. Still, I notice a certain fear within and this makes being at the leading edge of this current change challenging. Ah well, better make a few cuts, from now on it's baked beans on toast for dinner, well perhaps I'll enjoy the summer first!
Ahmet,
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to this - leaving a work environment where you have gained a community of practice and you know how it works, what to do, when, how and with whom. I find myself in a similar scenario once again, but you are a step ahead as you have already signed up to the PGCE course on September. For me, I have to choose the what "else" (quoting Alan Durrant's phrase that I shall never forget!) that will assist me with my journey into the future. It is a scary prospect. The only consolation I can offer you, is that you have done it before (from theatre to freelance teacher)and like anything, each time we supposedly "repeat" an action, we are wiser and more capable than the time before. I believe that this course has made you a much more rounded practitioner, whereby you are able to evaluate other's opinions through conversations and literary sources as well using a critically reflective process on your own professional practice. These are skills that I now believe to be the foundation of any professional practice, enabling us to repeat the process throughout our careers which will hopefully become second nature...
From the first day I met you in January 2012, this was your aim. I commend you on keeping your focus and achieving your goal!
Best Wishes,
Jo
Hi Ahmet
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to this! I returned to a full time university last September! It is tough but totally worth it! It's completely daunting especially when it seems like there is a significant age gap between you and your peers but you will settle right in and take it in your stride. It's exciting!
All year, people have told me how proud I should be of myself! It's made me laugh but actually you know what...they're right!! It's a big step to take and it comes with sacrifice, its time consuming and financially demanding.
I think its great that you've decided to do this and I wish you the very best of luck!!
Kelly
Hello Ahmet
ReplyDeleteI was just wondering if you could possibly read my lastest blog as i really thought of you whilst i was writing it as someone that could possibly answer some of my questions
dont worry if you dont get round to it but if you do that will be great
thanks a mill
jojox
Hi Ahmet,
ReplyDeleteJust checking in and saying hello. It is a time for change for us all and as I said on my blog it can only be good. Doing this course has forced me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. Beans on toast wont seem so bad when you have your PGCE from Goldsmiths. Your constant support of others blogs is a reflection of your tenacity during the last 15 months and I hope the next few weeks go great for you.All the best Pauline
Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. It's a funny time. The pressure is on and 2 weeks to go. I can't believe how quickly it's flown by. checking out your blogs now to see how you all doing...
ReplyDeleteAhmet